Do you think it is important to tell your children they are smart? If your answer is a “yes,” you are in good company. According to a Columbia University survey, 85 percent of American parents think it is important to praise children for their intelligence. Parents do it because they think it builds their self-esteem. They are wrong.
Telling your children all the time that they are geniuses does them more harm than good. It prevents them from taking on difficult assignments; be it a new concept in mathematics or adjusting to a novel sports schedule in the field. It makes them more concerned about being perceived as smart than working hard to improve their skills. And it happens because your children assume that intelligence is innate and fixed. Both of which are false beliefs that inhibit their growth.
When a child—who has been told repeatedly that she is smart—encounters a new, difficult concept that she cannot understand quickly, she usually gives up. She thinks that it is beyond her natural abilities. She also fears that others will think of her as not-so-smart if they see her struggling on a problem. This attitude further deteriorates the situation and her intelligence becomes her biggest liability. It does not have to be.
A Stanford University professor, Carol Dweck, has done extensive research on the right ways to motivate kids. She has shared her research on Ted and in a popular book, Self-Theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development. She thinks that the right way to help your kids is to praise them for their effort. So instead of uttering those mawkish phrases like “You’re smart, kid!” parents should say something like “You put in a lot of effort on solving this problem. It’s awesome, kid!” This small change in how you phrase your excitement can do wonders. There is a scientific proof for it.
To test her theories, Dweck did a series of experiments on 400 fifth-graders in New York a few years ago. At first, she gave the children an easy problem. When everyone had solved it, she told some children that they were smart but praised others for their effort.
Those praised for their effort did better on a second problem, which was harder. But those who were told that they were smart looked for a escape when confronted with a more difficult problem. Then, Dweck gave the children a third problem which was as easy as the first time. Those praised for their effort did 30 percent better than first time but those who were told that they were smart showed a performance drop of 20 percent. The writing was on the wall.
Repeatedly telling your children that they are geniuses does not help them at all. A better way is to encourage them to focus on effort, not some innate ability. And a summer camp is a great way to do it.
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most summer camps in NJ there is an emphasis on the process instead of the results. For instance, when your children come to the Eagle’s Landing Day Camp, they are encouraged to play sports in the field, swim in the pools, participate in robotics and science classes , experience the drama school and engage in dozens of arts and crafts programs. All-in-all, there are more than 30 activities your children can participate in. The counselors praise them for their efforts. No one tells them that they are smart without explaining why. And it helps!
When the process of making an effort and getting praised for it happens repeatedly over the course of several weeks, it drives home the belief that your children are responsible for their success, irrespective of their natural abilities. And this is what Dweck wants.
If Dweck’s whole research were to be summed up in one sentence, it would be: “It is important to tell your children that efforts matter, no matter the natural ability.” And there is no place where your children can get a first-hand experience of being masters of their own destinies than a summer camp in NJ. And it is in this sense that the Sanford professor wants you to send your children to a summer camp.